You Don’t Want It To Be Easy

We’ve all had that frustrating moment when we wished something was easy.

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about fitness, finances, careers, business, kids, or our relationships.

“Why does it have to be so hard?!”

In these moments, we’re quick to think of someone that has it easy.  We think to ourselves, “if I had this or that, it would be easy too!”.

(Some of us think it out loud…but I’m not judging).

Maybe they do have it easy.  Maybe we just don’t know about all the work they’ve done.

I thought this way for years, and didn’t want to accept responsibility for anything that went wrong.  This takes a toll on a person, and I can clearly remember the point in my life when I thought I was going to break.

My business was failing and I was losing thousands every month.  My relationship with my wife was struggling, and I couldn’t find time for my kids when they needed me the most.

I felt like a failure in every aspect of my life.  I was over 40, and I felt like I was supposed to have it all figured out by then.  Everything I thought “being a man” was supposed to be. Well, I wasn’t that.

Let those uplifting thoughts bounce around between your ears too long and it all starts to go wrong.

Why couldn’t it be easier?

Of course it wasn’t my fault. Nope. I blamed everyone around me.  Employees. Customers. Vendors. Even my wife and kids.

I’m not proud of who I was at that time, and it still bothers me when I think about it. (I had to walk away for a few minutes when writing this).

In a last ditch effort to try and save it all, I reached out to a business coach.  On a phone call with this coach, I laid out my situation and waited for his earth shattering advice. The missing piece to my puzzle that would make it all better.

“Your business and relationships are one big dumpster fire, and all you’re doing is showing up every day with more gasoline. Grow the F up because nobody is coming to save you. Everything is your fault. 
Are you ready to get to work?”

Well, HELL no I wasn’t ready to get to work! What kind of advice was that?!

To say that I was pissed off and hurt would be an understatement. I had actually taken that call behind my business, and was standing beside the dumpster. The “dumpster fire” comment really struck a nerve.

I didn’t hire that coach (hired another), but I never forgot those words and how I felt. This forced me to take the good hard look in the mirror I had long been avoiding.

That was the moment when everything changed. When I decided to take full responsibility. Everything was my fault.

And it was hard.  Really hard. When you’re used to casting blame every time things go wrong, this is an incredibly difficult adjustment.

Things still go wrong, and they likely always will. I’d like to believe that I handle my obstacles much better now. Not perfect…but definitely better.

Ironically, once I took responsibility and stopped being the winner of the blame game, I realized that the help I needed was always there. I’m incredibly fortunate for the incredible people who stuck by me when things were bad and I was worse.

This change in my approach resulted in significant improvements in every area of my life. Happy but never content, I know it’s my responsibility to keep improving.

And, step by step, day by day, week by week…I continue to work on my business, my fitness, and most importantly my family.

Looking back, I realize how stressful it was deflecting responsibility like bullets off Superman. When your approach is “everything is my fault”, this actually helps to relieve stress.  

You take ownership , and recognize in that moment that you are in control and you aren’t powerless.

And then you can start to change.

Nothing worth having is easy.

You don’t want it to be easy.

– Mike Williams

About No Limits

No Limits Fitness provides step-by-step programs to help busy adults get the body they’ve always wanted, without restrictive diets or time-consuming workouts, so they can lead more fulfilling lives. Life is a much better experience in a strong, healthy body!

Recent Posts

The Single Biggest Predictor of Success With Your Fitness

By Juan Perez • 03 May, 2024
Every year millions of people make the resolution to improve their fitness. It’s not exactly a secret that the majority of these good intentions will quickly turn into empty promises. When you first get started, your excitement and energy are high and it’s easy to feel like you’re in control and that your will power alone will help you through the difficult days ahead. The reality is that you’ll probably have more days when you don’t “feel” like training. This is the reason we preach Standards Over Feelings because we understand how fundamental this is for human behavior. There have been several studies on human behavior that have helped identify the single biggest predictor of success when it comes to long-term consistency with your fitness. It’s not keeping a gym bag ready and with you at all times…although this helps. Setting your gym clothes out the night before is a great idea…but it’s still not the determining factor. Surprisingly it’s not even having an accountability partner. Schedule in advance when and where you’ll do your training. Everything else is simply in support of this habit. Being accountable to someone you don’t want to disappoint is incredibly helpful, but if you haven’t taken that first step, accountability falls short. Having been that accountability piece for hundreds of people, I’ve been ignored and ghosted more times than I can count. Even my sister stopped responding to text messages and phone calls at one point. (I called our mother but apparently you can’t put an adult on restriction). Scheduling in advance WHEN and WHERE you’ll workout is the single most important step to developing consistency with your fitness. This helps you develop integrity with yourself…if you say you’ll do something, that thing gets done. Period. Show up like a boss and bosses don’t cancel. Your training is time on your calendar dedicated to getting better. The workouts on your calendar become non-negotiable. You don’t wake up and see how you “feel” because you already know there will be days you don’t “feel” like it. In advance, you schedule your training where it best fits into your life with your responsibilities. Once you’ve planned your work, you show up and work the plan. If you fail to plan the work, you’re significantly increasing the likelihood of failure. Ask someone that has been remarkably consistent with their fitness if they know when and where they’ll workout.  This has already been decided. Their feelings aren’t involved in the process. If you truly want to be consistent with your fitness, this habit is a must: Schedule in advance when and where you’ll workout.

Crunch-Free Zone: 5 Exercises For Stronger Abs

By Will Matthiessen • 19 Apr, 2024
Crunches.  The go-to core exercise for a lot of gym goers. Yet, it’s one of the worst ab exercises you can do. Shocking, I know. You’re probably wondering why it’s one of the worst. Crunches put force on your spine and oftentimes strain on your neck. They force your spine into flexion, which is generally what people are told not to do in order to protect their back. Aside from the pressure it puts on your spine, crunches don’t activate your core muscles to the extent that a lot of other dynamic core exercises do. If your goal is to have sculpted abs like a lifeguard on Baywatch, crunches are not your solution. Aside from the aesthetic aspect, a strong core is important for your body’s balance and stability, posture, and reduction of back pain and other injuries. If you want to develop a rock hard core, here is a list of exercises better than the old fashioned crunches that you can start incorporating into your workouts: The Hard Style Plank Put your forearms on the ground and your arms set shoulder width apart. Your arms should be parallel to your body. Once you’re up in the plank, imagine squeezing your elbows to your knees and your knees to your elbows. Don’t be surprised if you start shaking like a leaf as soon as you create that tension. Dead Bugs Lie on your back with your arms straight up and your hands above your shoulders. Bend your legs at a 90-degree angle with your toes facing up at the ceiling. Imagine pushing your belly button into the ground and keeping your body tight enough to where if someone was pulling on your limbs, you’d be able to resist it. Next extend your right arm and left leg at the same time, without touching the ground. Keep pushing your belly button into the ground to avoid arching your back. The right leg that is still bent should stay completely still while the other leg is in motion. Bring your arm and leg back into the start position and then switch sides. When it comes to Dead Bugs, one of our favorite sayings applies: “Slowly is holy. Faster is disaster.” If you want to increase the intensity, add a kettlebell to the stationary arm. If you want to significantly increase the intensity, press the kettlebell once you’ve reached the fully extended position. Reverse Crunches Lie down flat with your back on the floor and your legs straight down, toes pointed up. Press your lower back into the floor and pull in your belly button as you lift your legs together up off the floor. Push your heels through the ceiling at the top and slowly lower them back to the ground. Fun, right? Double Kettlebell March Hold two heavy kettlebells in the racked position. Pull your belly button to your knees and your knees to your belly button to find max tension in your core. Once you feel that tension, slowly lift one knee up 90 degrees and then switch legs. Hollow Rocks I’ve saved the worst (I mean best) for last. Lay down on the ground with your legs a little bit off of the ground as well as your shoulder blades and head. With arms extended over your head, rock back and forth like a banana rocking back and forth on a counter. Or a see-saw…take your pick. Alright, now that I’ve given you the secret sauce to getting rock hard abs, it’s time to get to work people!

How To Lose Weight Without Counting Calories

By Juan Perez • 05 Apr, 2024
One of the first recommendations you’ll hear for someone wanting to lose weight is to begin by counting calories. Although weighing your food and counting calories does work for some people, the reality is that this approach to weight loss has an astonishingly high failure rate. If this strategy is “based in science”, why does it fail more than 95% of the time? The Top 3 Issues With Counting Calories The number of calories in the foods you eat are estimates. This is where the concept of counting calories being “based in science” can be misleading. The FDA allows companies to use 5 different formulas to estimate calories and a standard deviation up to 20% is acceptable. This means that something listed as 150 calories exists on a range between 120 calories and 180 calories. How ripe is your banana? The ripeness affects caloric availability. The second issue is that as individuals we each absorb a different amount of the calories from the food we consume. Thirdly, Americans are notoriously bad at determining healthy portion sizes. Our super-sized culture has heavily influenced our concept of a normal sized portion. The good news is that there is another way to lose weight without counting calories. The Three Pillars of Nutrition Whether or not you’re a card-carrying member of Camp Calorie Counters, the foundation of your nutrition is built upon three pillars: Food Quality, Food Quantity and Food Timing. Food Quality All calories are not created equal. The popular 100 calorie snack bags do not offer the same nutritional value as 100 calories from fruits or vegetables. When the majority of your meals are composed of minimally processed single ingredient whole foods (lean protein, fruits and vegetables), you’re more likely to get the micronutrients your body needs to thrive. Food Quantity As mentioned earlier, Americans aren’t known for our skills at eyeballing healthy portion sizes. Although using a food scale to determine portion sizes can be helpful, it isn’t always practical. This is the reason we recommend learning to use your hand as a guide to determine portion sizes. You can’t take a food scale with you everywhere you go but you’re always allowed to bring your hands!
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