The Art of Being Happy

Most people believe that happiness is the reward for achieving success.

Get the promotion, then you’ll be happy.

Lose 20 pounds, then you’ll be happy.

Buy the house, then you’ll be happy.

I’ve been just as guilty of chasing this backwards formula only to find myself still feeling empty at the peak of another accomplishment.

Being happy is a choice you make on a daily basis.

After working with hundreds of high-achievers over the last decade, here’s what I’ve learned about the Art of Being Happy.

Success Does Not Produce Happiness

This might be one of the hardest pills to swallow for driven professionals.

Somehow we’ve been conditioned to believe that external achievements will finally deliver the internal contentment we’re seeking.

The promotion, income level, luxury vehicle, bigger house, physical appearance, and social status we’ve been chasing – surely the attainment of these will make us happy, right?

Wrong.

Research consistently shows that success does not produce happiness.

In fact, it’s the opposite: happiness produces success.

Happy people are more creative, resilient, better leaders and ironically more likely to achieve traditional markers of success.

But here’s the kicker: most of us have never actually learned HOW to be happy.

We’ve learned how to achieve, how to perform, and how to grind through obstacles…but happiness?

That just wasn’t on the curriculum.

When was the last time you thought about practical, daily strategies for increasing your baseline level of happiness?

Your Definition of Happiness

Before we dive into HOW to be happy, it’s important to get clear on what happiness actually means for you.

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.

For some people, happiness is feeling energized and excited about the day ahead.

Others may find happiness is a deep sense of contentment and peace.

Happiness might mean meaningful connections with others…or moments of solitude and reflection.

There isn’t a right or wrong answer here, but there is a wrong approach: letting someone else define happiness for you.

Social media has turned happiness into a sport of comparison. Everyone is posting their highlight reels and comparing them to their own behind-the-scenes reality.

Take 5 minutes and ask yourself what does happiness really feel like to you.

It’s not an accomplishment or a physical possession…put your personal definition of happiness into your own words.

Finding Your Tribe

One of the most consistent predictors of happiness is the quality of your relationships.

However, this is where things get tricky for busy professionals: you’re surrounded by people all day, yet you might feel completely isolated.

Meetings, presentations and your daily interactions with others may not be the relationships that actually nourish your soul.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which followed participants for over 80 years, found that good relationships keep us happier and healthier. But not just any relationships…GOOD ones!

You need people who see the real you, not just the character you play in your professional life.

People who celebrate your wins without jealousy and support you through your struggles without judgment.

Finding the tribe or community of people like this can have a significant impact on your level of happiness.

Think you don’t have time for deep friendships?

Consider this: maintaining meaningful relationships isn’t another item for your to-do list.

It’s an investment in your personal happiness that pays dividends in every other area of your life.

Call It What You Want

The term “personal development” makes plenty of rational adults run screaming for the hills.

This conjures images of motivational speeches, toxic positivity and people who’ve replaced their personality with inspirational quotes.

But here’s the thing: the practices that increase happiness aren’t touchy-feely nonsense.

They’re evidence-based strategies that have been proven to work across cultures, ages and life circumstances.

In his book The Slight Edge, author Jeff Olson discussed how adults don’t want personal development because it sounds like work.

But they DO want to be happy.

As it turns out, personal development can be reframed as pursuing happiness.

Happiness requires some level of intention…but that doesn’t require you to attend a weekend conference of positive affirmations.

It doesn’t need to have the “personal development” label…call it what you want.

The Art of Being Happy
7 Practices You Can Start Today

Decades of research and real-world application have shown that the following 7 daily practices will consistently increase your level of happiness.

The cool thing is that you don’t need to do all 7.

Ideally you’ll just pick one to get started. Once that becomes a happy habit for you, feel free to add another.

1. Daily Gratitude
   Write down three things you’re grateful for each morning. Not just the big stuff – notice the small moements.
   The taste of your coffee, your physical health, or having a loving spouse.
   This rewires your brain to notice positive experiences…we’re naturally experts at noticing the negative.
2. Move Your Body
   Exercise isn’t just good for your health – it’s one of the most powerful mood elevators available.
   Even 20 minutes of movement releases endorphins and reduces stress hormones. Find something you actually enjoy, whether that’s lifting weights, walking in the park or dancing badly in your living room.
3. Connect Meaningfully With Others
   Have at least one genuine conversation each day. Not work talk or surface level chit chat – real connection. Ask someone how they’re actually doing and actively listen to their answer. Share something authentic about you own experience as well.
4. Engage in Acts of Kindness
   Do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return. Hold a door, send an encouraging text or email, or buy the coffee for the person behind you in line. Acts of kindness activates the “feel good” centers in your brain.
5. Spend Time In Nature
   This has a profoundly calming effect on most people so make it a point to get outside for 15 minutes daily. Nature reduces our cortisol levels, improves focus and provides us with perspective. A simple walk around the block can check this box and help you move your body.
6. Practice Mindfulness
   If you’re anything like me, I needed a better relationship with the term mindfulness. The definition I found most helpful is simply “being where your feet are”…which simply means being fully present. This could be meditation, deep breathing, or simply eating your lunch without scrolling on your phone. Mindfulness reduces anxiety and increases your capacity to enjoy positive experiences.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
   Take a few minutes at the end of your day to acknowledge your daily accomplishments, no matter how minor they seem. Have a difficult conversation? That’s a win. Made a healthy meal decision at lunch? That counts too. Most high-achievers are excellent at recognizing their shortcomings but terrible at giving themselves credit for what they did right.

Conclusion

The key to all of these practices is consistency, not perfection.

You don’t need to master all 7 of these to achieve happiness. Attempting to do all 7 will likely do the opposite.

Remember that happiness isn’t a destination…it’s a state of mind you develop through daily practice.

And unlike most skills you’ve mastered in your professional life, this one actually gets easier and more enjoyable with time.