The F word.
In some circles the F word appears in every other sentence. In other circles it’s looked on as crude and uncultured.
I would like to help you change how you think about the F word, so it is no longer scary to think about it, but it actually helps you achieve your goals.
If you’ve been reading these emails for a while, you already know what I think about the F word. But if you don’t know me very well yet, you may not be able to guess what I’m going to say to you next.
Failure. The F word is failure.
What did you think I was talking about?
Personally, I don’t really like the word because people have a lot of preconceived ideas about what it means. It’s a word that makes people feel bad about themselves.
It causes people to fear being judged by others, which them prevents them from having the courage to take action.
But I would like to change this perception.
The problem is, most of the time, when you think of someone as a failure, you also think of them as giving up. And that’s where this conversation really begins.
First, no one IS a failure.
Perhaps you may have attempted a task or activity that didn’t give you the result you wanted, but you, personally, are not “a failure”.
When you adopt a label for yourself, of course you end up finding new and creative ways to live up to that label! And who wants to be “a failure”??
Second, I have talked to so many people who have tried to get fit or lose weight, or both, and time after time I hear, “I tried but it just doesn’t work for me.”
I don’t even like the word “tried”. Remember Yoda? “Do or do not; there is no try.”
How many times have you “tried”? What got in your way? What blocked you from achieving your goal?
Sticking with your goals is a topic for another post, but for right now let’s reconsider our F word.
You get to reconsider the word “failure”. In fact, if the word “failed” makes you feel bad, don’t even use it!
Take it out of your vocabulary – today – and start using a better F word.
One of my favorite sayings when it comes to nutrition is “Feedback Not Failure”. Plus I get in two F words which is more efficient and it appeals to my inner child. (Don’t judge me).
We aren’t perfect and along our respective journeys we provide ourselves with feedback from our experiences. This helps us learn and improve.
Too often I’ll see someone begin a healthy eating plan and the first two or three weeks are fantastic. And then a cheat meal happens. And they feel like they’ve failed.
What is it inside of us that makes us think one mistake translates into absolute failure?
Use this opportunity to provide yourself feedback.
What were you feeling right before your cheat meal?
Did you have enough sleep the night before?
Was this a conscious choice to have a cheat meal? If so, what were your thoughts leading up to the cheat meal?
Were you under a higher amount of stress at the time?
Don’t label yourself a failure and use questions like these to gain valuable feedback.
We are NOT perfect and we will all have obstacles that provide us with feedback.
Learn to use this feedback to improve your nutritional habits.
“I am getting better and better at saying ‘no’ to foods I know are not good for me. Sometimes I make a mistake, but I don’t beat myself up about it, but get right back on the program the next meal.”
“I know that every day is a new day, and I can pick myself up and start over again every day. In fact, every day I get to start over. Yesterday is in the past, and now, today, I get to make new choices that help me feel healthier and better about myself.”
Do you see what I’m doing here? I’m focused on incremental changes that makes me feel good about myself, and I’m not talking about failure. I’m also not focusing on the end result but on the process that happens every single day.
You have no idea how much this will help you!